PAULA GARRANT, MSW, LICSW

The year prior to my graduation, I was accepted into an extremely competitive program at the Dana Farber Cancer Institutes’ "Jimmy Fund Clinic". It is known all over the world for its unparalleled care of children with cancer. I trained there for one full year and in that time watched many children be cured from cancer but also witnessed many of these precious children die. The training there and at future jobs set me up with an incredible future as a clinical social worker. I knew that my passion was in the field of trauma and crisis i.e. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD, suicide, sexual assault/rape, terminal cancer, and death of a loved one. It has been an incredibly rewarding career helping other families navigate some of the most devastating situations and events their lives have ever seen.

 

The best part of it all, was that my two beautiful children got to see the blood, sweat and tears of my schooling, training and career. They got to see me open my solo private practice back in 2015, which has been thriving ever since. I honestly felt like I was on top of the world. Of course, like with any human being, there are ups and downs, good times and heartache, incredible moments and complete despair. I lost my own mother (Marion) on Mother's Day back in 2013 and only eight months later lost my father (John) and 5 days later after my father lost my Uncle/Godfather (Paul) to ALS. I didn't understand why everyone had to die all at once. I was sad and angry at the same time. Sure, I had experienced death and had been to numerous wakes, funerals of many different faiths and cultures. They had never hit home before. I longed for my
family to come back to me. I needed to know more about them...why did I not ask them more about their past lives while they were alive?, Why didn't I spend more time with them? I felt horrible that my children lost two of their four grandparents. I wanted to crawl under my blankets and never come out. I missed hearing their voices, asking my mom about recipes, telling my dad about my career, and talking Boston Bruins Hockey with my uncle. It was gone...forever. Time and life keep going forward with or without you...and in the culture we live in, you are allowed 3 days off for bereavement of a close family member, unless you decide to take vacation time.
 

I felt a bit lost in the world and felt like an orphan. Over time however, the fog began to lift and I "forged" ahead in life again...wrapping myself up in the love of my children, family & friends. Life went on.

A few short years later, I would come to learn a new grief...a different grief, the cruelest grief there is and that is the loss of your child. My son Reid, our "Gentle Giant", was 22 years old when he died from a rare and aggressive form of Leukemia/Blood Cancer-Acute Promyelocytic Myeloid Leukemia or APML/APL. I never saw this coming, none of us did...not even Reid. He was my world, my baby, my heart...I share his story open and honestly with all who will listen. I do this to honor my son and keep his name alive forever, but I also do it to create Leukemia Awareness and to help other bereaved parents, grandparents, families and friends who are crumbling over the untimely death of a child or in some cases children. Reid's full story can be viewed on his Foundation (Reid Landry Garrant Foundation)
website: www.reidsrebels.com or on his Facebook Foundation page:
https://www.facebook.com/reidsrebels or on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/reidsrebels

In the world of a clinical social worker we are taught early on in our training that you share pieces of yourself, only when it is clinically indicated to do so. It wasn't until after Reid died and I trained (Certificate in Traumatic Grief) with Dr. Joanna Cacciatore (world renowned grief expert, bereaved mom herself, and author of the best-selling book, "Bearing the Unbearable, Love, Loss and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief”) in Sedona, Arizona and learned that when working "as a bereaved mom" and with "bereaved parents", that sharing your own grief story, was not only ethical, but imperative. I would like to add that there are many clinicians in the field who do incredible work in the grief world, and have not lost a child, or even had a child. What I am able to bring to the table as a Traumatic Grief Clinician is that I can both speak from the point of view of a bereaved mother as well from the clinical point of view from 20+ years in the field. Each client I help, is another way that I honor my Reid.

If you or someone you know has currently experienced the death of their child or children, please contact me through my office phone: 978-504-0844, or send me an email to paula@seascapetherapy.com to have a phone consult to learn more about how therapy can help you continue to survive with this unbearable loss of your child.

Thank you for reading my own grief story today, xoxo

Warmest Regards,
Paula Garrant, MSW, LICSW

Reid’s Mama